Struggling Writer Pens Unauthorized Biography Of Actor Tim Curry

You Have No Clue About Doing the Time Warp

Some critics are saying Martin Hazel’s new book “You Have No Clue About Doing the Time Warp” is a strong warning to society about the dangers of allowing authors to “self-publish.”

New York—Writer and journalist Martin Hazel has just completed work on another book, this time an unauthorized tell all biography of British actor Tim Curry called, “You Have No Clue About Doing the Time Warp.”

In it, Hazel serves up juicy tidbits about the star of such films as “Congo,” “Clue” and “The Rocky Horror Picture Show,” such as Curry’s early studies to be a mad scientist, which helped him in his career-launching role as Dr. Frank-N-Furter.

“For years, Curry saw himself as a scientific genius, and some of his early creations eventually led to stem cell development. But the London theatre was calling to him to greatly for him to ignore it, and as such, he abandoned his research and headed for The West End,” according to the book.

The book also said that Curry turned down the role of James Bond on several occasions, leading to the success of both Roger Moore in the role and, to a (much, much) lesser degree, Timothy Dalton.

“Curry told friends that James Bond was too conservative, not dark enough,” according to the book. “He clearly more relished playing a butler-slash (SPOILER ALERT) murderer in ‘Clue’ and a crazy murderous clown in the TV adaptation of Stephen King’s ‘It’ rather than playing a jet-setting playboy spy.”

The book also confirmed a decades-long feud between Curry and Paul McCartney that neither has ever discussed publicly. “The bad blood between Tim and the Beatle started in 1967 when Tim tried to land an autograph from McCartney after a Beatles show in Bristol. McCartney apparently told Tim to shove off as he only signed albums ‘for birds, not for blokes, you wanker.’ Curry never forgot the slight and was all too eager to return the favor in 1978 when McCartney was jockeying for an autograph from Tim after a stage show of ‘Rocky Horror.’ And despite the two never discussing the row in public, it’s kept both their blood boiling for more than 35 years.”

Initial reviews have noted that Curry has not commented on the book, and it is unclear if Curry has ever heard of Hazel in any way, shape or form.


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