TDQ Investigates: Sale To Disney The Final Nail In The Star Wars/Lucasfilm Coffin

May the Force be with you at the Happiest Place on Earth

It was a good run, if you think about it. We just didn’t know the ending would come like this, by selling out to Disney. From the summer of 1977 to about the summer of 1999, we had a great ride. The battles, the light sabre duels, the pretending to use the Force to choke your friends, the jokes about who is your father.

But for one reason or another, the man behind those 20+ years of magic decided to destroy his own creation. Much like Arthur Conan Doyle choosing to kill off Sherlock Holmes at Reichenbach Falls, and Ian Fleming trying to find a way to kill off James Bond, George Lucas had tired of the Star Wars universe. He came to resent all the fanboys who lauded his life’s work and viewed Lucas as a geek god.

He wanted to get out from under the shadow of the Force. So he started to tweak his masterpiece, making Greedo shoot first, and putting in an unnecessary and superfluous Jabba the Hutt scene in “Star Wars.” He said at the time he made these “improvements” to the film that he was sorry that (millions and millions of) fans had fallen in love with an incomplete film.

Then he continued, throwing in CGI characters and changing scenes throughout the rest of his Holy Trilogy, until the final blow to the original, adding Hayden Damn Christensen to the end of “Return of the Jedi,” inserting him next to the ghosts of Yoda and Ben Kenobi. Like a CGI “F-you” to the Star Wars traditionalists.

Then he spilled Jar Jar Binks on the whole thing, and our childhoods were effectively tossed into the Pit of Carkoon. Remember the first three as they used to be, because they will never be the same.

And now Luke, Han, Chewie and Yoda are in the hands of the people who brought you “Fantasia,” “Little Mermaid” and “John Carter.” It might not be all bad. Maybe Phil Collins or Elton John will score the next “Star Wars” flick, whatever they name Number 7.

Thanks for the memories, George. They’re all we have left.

You are now informed. Go and do likewise.

3 thoughts on “TDQ Investigates: Sale To Disney The Final Nail In The Star Wars/Lucasfilm Coffin

  1. Speaking of incomplete films, any word yet on finishing up the last scenes of RECOiL? It took less time for Inigo Montoya to find the six fingered man than it has to complete this film.

  2. And did Mr. Montoya ever get it right?? I think not. One suspects that Lucas just wanted access to all that ” behind the scenes ” stuff at WDW.

    Earl

  3. Pingback: TDQ Investigates: Help Me, J.J. Abrams, You’re My Only Hope | The Daily Quarterly

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