Morgan Freeman: “Until You Hear It Directly From Me, Assume I’m Not Dead”

Morgan Freeman: 1937 - ????

Some of these Morgan Freemans will not survive.

Hollywood—Once again, Oscar-winning actor Morgan Freeman has found himself at the center of yet another internet celebrity death hoax. And once again, Freeman’s PR people have had to answer countless media inquiries as to the health of the star, some even from Freeman’s close friends.

But now, Freeman has issued a statement telling the world, or at least anyone in the world who listens to such things, that he himself has partnered up with Visa to record his death announcement, and when the time comes that he does pass on, his fans will get the news directly from his mouth.

“Until you hear the sound of my smooth, dulcet voice telling you I’ve died, don’t believe it.” Freeman said. “If it ain’t out of my mouth, I’m still here. Trust me. You’re talking to a cat who went from playing a vampire taking a bath in a casket on ‘The Electric Company’ to playing Nelson Mandela. I’m still here. I’m doing all right. I’m everywhere I want to be, just like Visa. Go world.”

Freeman said he has no plans to take a dirt nap anytime soon, but he has his exit completely covered, pre-recording dozens of possible death scenarios, from passing away peacefully in his sleep at home, to being found dead in what appears to be a mob hit.

“I’m pretty confident that I won’t be shuffling off this mortal coil in the near future,” Freeman said. “But if I do, my money’s on being killed by a jilted ex-lover. Not to tip my hand or anything.”

Freeman said he appreciated all the concern for his well-being, but people shouldn’t waste their time on him, at least not at this point. “If you really want to worry about somebody’s health, worry about my pal Clint Eastwood,” Freeman said. “Dude’s having conversations with empty chairs now.”

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