Poll Finds Most Americans Didn’t Know The National Hockey League Ended 2004-2005 Work Stoppage, Let Alone Have Any Clue About This Recent One

Hockey Lockout

Among the many benefits of a hockey lockout there is more ice available than ever before for figure skating.

New York—A recent poll co-conducted by The Daily Quarterly and USA Today found that most Americans were not aware the National Hockey League had entered its second work stoppage in a decade following a lock out of the players on September 16thafter the players union and the league failed to reach a consensus on a new collective bargaining agreement.

The poll also found that more than half of the sober respondents were unaware that the league’s prior work stoppage, which wiped out the entire 2004-2005 season, had ended, and hockey had since been played for more than six years with no interruptions,

“Yeah, yeah I know they’re on strike, or locked out or whatever. They’ve been on strike since, what, 2002 or something, right?” said New York Knicks fan and waste management advisor Frankie Ryland, 39. “I got friends who handle strikes for the right price. You want I should make a call?”

A large number of the people who took part in the poll also said they didn’t know hockey was shown live on cable television, but that they were unlikely to lose sleep over not knowing this sporting fact. The poll also showed that less than one-tenth of one percent of people would reschedule oral surgery, including a root canal, if Game 7 of the Stanley Cup Finals were on at the same time.

It appeared that a good percentage of Americans could go months, even years, without sparing a single thought about hockey. “Look, I’ll say this for the NHL, the dozen or so fans they do have are diehard, passionate people,” said Elijah Papianou, 33. “Like soccer fans. But I don’t need ESPN or some other sports channel trying to manufacture a desire for a sport that just isn’t there. Hockey gave it a good run here in the U.S. Good job, good effort. But nobody cares. Go back to Ottawa, it just didn’t pan out down here. I get the appeal, Canada, I do. I just don’t feel the same way. Like with Anne Murray. Or Shania Twain.”

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