Washington, D.C. – Former Presidential candidate Al Gore was spotted at a neighborhood BP this morning pumping premium gas into his 2013 Beemer 5 series, a cinnamon crueller in his front pocket.
Gore seemed surprised when he spotted our camera, and quickly pulled the crueller out of his pocket and dumped it into the front seat of the luxury German vehicle.
“We need to move on from these gasoline-consuming vehicles!,” Gore shouted, attempting to laugh off the embarrassing situation. “This is actually my wife’s car!”
Mr. Gore won the Nobel Peace Prize for his climate change activism in 2007.
Mr. Gore’s television network, Current TV recently gained some publicity when they severed ties with controversial host Keith Olbermann. Current felt that their values no longer coincided with Mr. Olbmermann’s, however, they did feel that their values coincided with disgraced former NY Governor Eliot Spitzer, and Current TV announced that Spitzer will be taking Olbermann’s place.
Mr. Olbermann has responded by brazenly inviting escort after escort both into his home, and onto long boat trips in papparazzi-rich areas of the coastline in the hopes he would be caught, and possibly get his old job back. To this point, no papparazzi have recognized Mr. Olbermann.
Mr. Gore is sometimes credited with inventing the internet, an act that we at The Daily Quarterly are very grateful for, but when pressed for comment, Mr. Gore has only taken credit for certain portions of the internet: namely, The New York Times, Harper’s Magazine online edition, and The Huffington Post.
Mr. Gore wanted to state unequivocally that he is in no way responsible for any of the recent viral YouTube spawn of his creation; for example, The Annoying Orange, Rebecca Black, and Charlie the Unicorn.
“Yes, I invented the internet, but I created it for good. You people were not supposed to create image macros. That was not ok.”