LeBron James Really Kind Of Excited The Lockout Has Ended So He Can “Hurry Up And Get Them Championships Already!”

LeBron James

LeBron James likes to express his feelings with sculpture. In the down time while the season was suspended he had this piece commissioned and placed.

Miami—After falling heartbreakingly short of proving all the haters wrong last season and winning an NBA Championship, basketball superstar LeBron James said he’s kind of excited to see the NBA lockout end so he can get going again on his pursuit of his elusive first championship trophy.

“See, now I know in my heart that I’m the greatest player of all time,” James said with a straight face. You really had to be there to appreciate the earnestness with which he uttered that sentence. Classic. “But some people, for whatever reason, they think I need to have trophies and championship rings to be the best. So, you know, not that I’m motivated by what other people think of me or say about me, except if they’re signing my paycheck, but I suppose a championship or two wouldn’t hurt. But that’s not the reason I brought my talents to South Beach. I know I’m the best wherever I play.”

James said he wanted to make it perfectly clear that he was okay during the lockout, that he has plenty of money. The real people who suffered from the lockout, he said, were the Miami Heat fans and NBA historians, who couldn’t add anything of value to his legacy.

News that the lockout was still going on at all, let alone that it had ended, was a surprise to many people, as was James’ statement that he is the greatest player of all time.

“They were still locked out?” asked Dave Errera, 33, during a commercial as he was watching last week’s Monday Night Football game at a local sports bar. “I’ll be damned. That’s why I haven’t seen any stupid commercials on ESPN. And LeBron said what? You gonna finish those wings?”

James kept a low profile during lockout negotiations, though to be honest, we always turned the channel whenever talk of the lockout came on, so he may have said quite a lot, and we just missed it. He’s still with the Heat, though, right?

1 thought on “LeBron James Really Kind Of Excited The Lockout Has Ended So He Can “Hurry Up And Get Them Championships Already!”

  1. Pingback: LeBron James Gets Into Heated Verbal Exchange With Fan Over Greek Austerity Measures | The Daily Quarterly

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