Georgia Aquarium Can’t Seem To Keep Sea Monkeys Alive

Georgia Aquarium Sea Monkey Lab

A look inside the Georgia Aquarium Sea Monkey laboratory.

Atlanta, GA—The Georgia Aquarium, the world’s largest aquarium, confirmed last week it is having a difficult time keeping the sea monkeys alive in one of its smaller yet more popular exhibits.

Aquarium spokesperson Irene Vick said they have had no problem breeding the small sea creatures, but have been unsuccessful in keeping them alive for more than a few weeks, despite constant monitoring and adhering to the letter of the instructional packet that comes with them when they arrive in the mail.

“It’s quite frustrating,” said Vick. “We seem to keep sending away for new packets full of them every few weeks. But, quite frankly, we’re running out of the coupons that come in the back of the ‘Archie’ comics that we’ve been using. I might be able to find some more coupons in the back of my stepson’s ‘Boys Life’ magazines, but I really hate to do that.”

Vick said compounding the problem was the fact that there are no known sea monkey experts in the southeastern United States.

“Our first problem was the fact that no one who owns sea monkeys or who is proficient in their care is old enough to have a doctorate in marine biology with a focus on the creatures,” Vick said. “Then add to that, when we were able to find an expert with suitable knowledge in this area, his curfew is 8:30 on weeknights.”

Vick said there was some initial resistance from the experts on staff who dealt with the larger mammals, fish and whatever the hell squids are, who were unhappy that the aquarium decided to add an exhibit featuring sea monkeys last fall.

“But the children on the field trips, they really seem to enjoy the sea monkeys with their smiling faces and the bows in the hair of the females,” said Vick. “We’d hate to have to close down the exhibit altogether. Though really, at just $1.25 a packet, we really can’t afford not to keep this exhibit open. Am I right? Right?”

Lauren Pottinger contributed to this article

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