CBS Executives “Thrilled” To Learn Charlie Sheen Has A Brother, And “BONUS! He’s An Actor!”

Sheen and Esteves

Brother's from the same mother. The offspring of Ramon Antonio Gerard Estévez and Janet Elizabeth Templeton, Carlos Irwin Estévez (left) and Emilio Estévez (right) on the set of "Two and a Half Men", Episode 11, Season 6 disturbingly titled "The Devil's Lube" featuring James Earl Jones.

Los Angeles—CBS management has recently learned that Charlie Sheen isn’t the only one of Martin Sheen’s sons in show business, said an anonymous source close to CBS President Les Moonves. The network is now scrambling to see if they can get a hold of Emilio Estevez “or his people-we’re pretty sure he has people,” about the possibility of Estevez replacing his brother on the hit CBS sitcom, “Two And A Half Men.”

“When upper management at the network found out about Mr. Estevez,” the source said, “they were literally beside themselves. They’re doing a complete 360, and are now thinking about continuing the show with him replacing Mr. Sheen.”

The source said that they may write Sheen out of the show and have Estevez come in “as a long-lost brother, like that one show with Brenda Walsh (‘Charmed,’ which replaced Shannen Doherty with Rose McGowan after three seasons),” the source said.

Apparently, no one in upper management at CBS knew that Sheen and Estevez were, in fact, brothers, because of their different last names.

“You know what’s funny,” the source said, “I just watched ‘Young Guns’ last weekend. Literally! Ha, ha! I had no idea those two were brothers. Then my neighbor, my neighbor of all people, he asks me about Mr. Estevez possibly replacing Charlie. I thought he was crazy, I said ‘You’re crazy, Juan!’ But then I looked at this site on the web, on the internet, it’s called ‘Wikipedia,’ and it literally said it right there, boom! Yep, they’re brothers!”

The source said that it’s weird that both men look like their father, Martin Sheen, in different ways, but they don’t look like each other. “Isn’t that weird?” he said.

“Irregardless,” the source said, “the ball is now rolling. I’m sure the writers can come up with a plausible reason why Charlie and Alan (the characters played by Charlie Sheen and Jon Cryer, respectively) never knew about, I don’t know, Eddie, we can call him.”

The source said that despite all the recent turmoil, CBS is now excited about the prospects of moving forward with a new season of the program with (hopefully) Emilio Estevez on board. “We literally can’t wait!” he said.

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