Lazy College Student’s Dream Of Starting His Own Business Thwarted By Bureaucrac​y, Apathy

Huntington, WV—Tim Miller has a dream. Or rather, Tim Miller had a dream. But when he tried to turn that dream into a reality, he was hit with a barrage of red tape and unhelpful government and banking employees. Now, it appears, that dream may be gone.

The college senior, who is just two classes away from getting his business degree, said he has always dreamed about being his own boss, “’cause everybody else I ever worked for was such a dumbass,” he said.

But recently, when he decided it was time to put his business plan into action, he learned the cold hard reality of how the business world works. And now this dreamer with visions of changing the world with his company is thinking hard about giving up.

“So the other day,” Miller said, “I got nothing else to do, right? So I get up crazy early, like, I don’t know, 9:45 or whatever. And I go to the bank to open up a business account. Well the bank dude tells me they can’t open up a business account without a Tax ID or whatever. So I go, ‘Okay, dude, whatever,’ right? So I get on my iPad there in the parking lot at the bank, right? And then this smokin’ hot chick walks by while I’m doing that, and I think I recognize her, but it turns out it wasn’t who I thought it was but she’s still smoking hot, right? So anyway, I go to fill out the business forms on my iPad, and they tell me that to get a Tax ID they want a P.O. Box for my company.”

Miller pressed on, undaunted: “So I’m like, ‘Are you kidding me? What?’ So I drive all the way across town to the post office, which has a crazy long line, and it’s like a Tuesday. A line on a Tuesday? What? So I get up the front after like six hours or something, and the lady tells me if it’s a business P.O. Box then I need a Tax ID.”

Miller said he never realized starting a business would be so difficult. He never expected to encounter these many roadblocks. He said he doesn’t understand how any small businesses get started with so many obstacles to overcome.

“I mean, dude’s telling me I need a Tax ID to open a business account, which I can’t get without filling out the paperwork and paying the fees. But I need a post office box to put on the paperwork to get the Tax ID. But I can’t get the post office box until I get the Tax ID, which I can’t get without the post office box. And I can’t pay for anything until I get a business account, which I can’t get without a Tax ID,” Miller said.

Miller said he just doesn’t have the energy to deal with the system. He said he already has class six hours a week and works for his father’s law firm 15-20 hours a week. He just doesn’t see how he can squeeze in getting past the roadblocks and red tape he has now encountered.

“Oh, well, screw it,” Miller said. “I still got that hot chick’s number. Maybe I’ll call her later this week.”

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