“Star” Reporter Beaten And Robbed During Scoop Deal Gone Bad

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Los Angeles–Star’s star reporter was attacked and robbed Saturday night in a West Hollywood neighborhood during a scoop-buy gone-bad. Cliff Brink was meeting a source he’d never met before when he was beaten and his watch, cell phone and wallet were stolen by an unknown assailant.

Brink said he was alone and had just left his regular story dealer after buying a story about Lindsay Lohan and was approached by an unknown man telling him he had “good stuff on Anne Hathaway.” Brink followed the man around a corner when he was attacked.

“He said ‘What you need? I got what you need,’” Brink said from his hospital bed. “I figured he had photos or a good lead on Hathaway. But it was a setup.”
Brink said he rarely goes to anyone besides his regular story dealer for gossip, but things have been light lately, and he thought another score wouldn’t hurt.

“I used to go to that neighborhood all the time to score stories,” Brink said. “But not anymore. It’s been going downhill for years. Another reporter I know got mugged there last summer trying to buy a story about Dr. Phil and his tennis instructor. This country’s goin’ to hell in a hand-basket when you have to fear for your life when buying a good adultery story.”

The assailant is currently at large. A police spokesman said they don’t currently have anything to go on, adding, “but if you’ve read the pieces that Star has written about us in the past, that should come as no surprise. It’s a shame that the Star reporter has to rely on our office to investigate it, seeing as how we’re such a horrible department. Yeah, damn shame. Hope we catch a break…”

Star issued a statement regarding the attack, saying, “We here at Star are deeply saddened and outraged at the senseless, brutal, near fatal attack on Cliff Brink and his 93 year-old grandmother in Hollywood over the weekend that left him in a coma and his Nana clinging to life. Knowing that Cliff had just left feeding the homeless and was taking his grandmother to her dialysis treatment just makes this tragedy all the more heartbreaking. Clearly this was the work of Scientologists and Star is working on getting the photos of this attack. Our thoughts and prayers go out to the family.”

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