TDQ Investigates: National Football League In Bed With Hollywood

The NFL/Hollywood history.Hollywood via Canton—Despite not having a franchise in Los Angeles, the NFL’s presence in Hollywood is as strong as it’s ever been. And The Daily Quarterly has uncovered just how strong the ties are between Tinsel Town and Canton, OH.

A source close to the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences has told TDQ that the NFL has helped finance several motion pictures over the last few decades. And just last week, after 15 years of not having a say in the Academy Awards Show, the NFL flexed its muscle again and chose the hosts, Anne Hathaway and James Franco.

“There are two schools of thought about last week’s show,” the source said, under the condition of anonymity. “One school is that they actually were trying for a younger demographic like most people had though going in. The other thought is that they wanted a trainwreck of a show to distract from the possible NFL lockout on the horizon.”

The source said it’s no coincidence that both the Raiders and the Rams left LA shortly after David Letterman’s turn at hosting the Oscars in 1995, which, before this year, was widely regarded as one of the worst Oscar hosting jobs in the show’s history. Letterman was handpicked by Paul Tagliabue, NFL commissioner at the time. The source said it’s widely known throughout the industry that Tagliabue himself wrote the ill-fated “Uma/Oprah” bit.

“After that, they (the NFL) knew they had to lower their visibility in LA,” the source said.

But that hasn’t stopped the NFL from being responsible for some of the most horrendous films in American cinema.

The NFL had its hands in producing or otherwise-financing “Ishtar,” “Waterworld,” “Gigli,” “River of Death,” and “Robot Jocks.” The source said the NFL has attempted to put out some good football movies, but each time it tried, they all fell short of expectations.

“‘The Replacements,’ ‘Any Given Sunday’ and ‘The Last  Boyscout’ have the NFL’s hands all over them,” the source said. “But ‘Invincible,’ they didn’t touch. But that’s only because of Mark Wahlberg.”

The source said that Tagliabue vowed never to help finance anything starring Wahlberg or his brother since Tagliabue’s grand daughter was denied an autograph at a Marky Mark and the Funky Bunch concert in 1992. Goodell has taken his predecessor’s stance as well, and has no plans to put any money into “Blue Bloods,” currently airing on CBS with Donnie Wahlberg, or any future Mark Wahlberg project.

Upper management at the AMPAS thought enough time had passed since the Letterman fiasco, so they let the NFL choose the hosts again this year, the source said.

“Whatever the real motivation behind choosing Anne and James,” the source said, “I guess it worked for a few days. The talk all over town right after the Oscars wasn’t about the NFL or even a new team coming to LA. It was about how hard it looked like Anne was trying, and how stiff and uncomforable James looked.”

Unleashing “Uma/Oprah” on the world? Throwing James Franco in our faces? “River of Death?” The NFL deserves to pay dearly for this, in our opinion. Lockout or no, hasn’t the American public suffered enough at the NFL’s hands? When will it end?

Soon, The Daily Quarterly prays. Soon.

You are now informed. Go and do likewise.

3 thoughts on “TDQ Investigates: National Football League In Bed With Hollywood

  1. It is impossible for me to remain quiet when rampant and blatant falsehoods are put into print. Those of who are old enough to remember” River of Death” can not sit idly by and allow guilt by association. Lumping that epic movie with “Ishtar” and “Gigi”is just not going to wash. Robert Vaughn would roll over in his grave. WHAT?? He’s not dead?? Please check on that for us.. Ol’ Bob might be watching.

    • Thank you for your comment. Yes, it is our understanding that Mr. Vaughn is still among the living. We are, however, preparing an obit for him, just in case…
      You are now informed. Go and do likewise.

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